cant you let me at least study in peace. major fml to be in this position. my mouth became crude-r than ever. blame who.

fml. at this moment i'm feeling all the pekchek-ness of having too much commitments, and totally at a lost of what am i supposed to do next. i used to be so efficient and fast in clearing all the things i need to do.

i dont want to cry.

dont mind me because i'm in a very irritable mood these days. my stand remains, i'm getting out of the house as soon as i can. i want to and i will.

you are the new secretary aka saikang warrior. ACCEPT THAT. yes, crowned number two, and no way out. i wasnt even this bit close to getting into the committee in the past school years. and now this.

haven been updating, but something just happened, and i just thought of blogging it down. its exactly the same situation as what ever happened in the past, with the roles switched. now you know exactly how i felt then. sucks much to be treated that way. no? fuck you.

decided to buy a copy of eight days after eons and this was what i read.

once you're fat. you're always fat. your eyes are fat, because you see how people treat you when you are fat. you see the ugly side of life, how people divide others according to their physical appearances, and how being a little overweight sets you aside on the football field, in the school canteen, in class, and among your friends. And you realize how damn ugly human nature is.

i agree TOTALLY!

its new year's eve. feeling a little emo. like what i tweeted. didnt particularly like this year, so spare me the torture, and just end it will yea. this year was practically work, and more work, and entering a university. i didnt enjoy any, and it just made me realise, thats life. suck that in. i hope things will be different in the coming year. like literally different. and better of course. no need for new year resolutions for i know they are pretty useless for me. maybe just to not spend the very same day drinking away. haha. cheers to a wonderful new year. adios.

i need to say something somewhere. hate this feeling right now. not performing up to standard, restless, undisciplined, messy and that fucking heck care attitude. this is like fuck it man. or rather suck it man, its just life. maybe i'm too free right now and has nothing to do other than to study. if i was working busy off my head i probably wont be thinking about these things so much. another thing. my english is bad to worst. short forms of short forms. cant speak fast enough for what i'm thinking and i stutter. argh. i dont like this. and today is day four mind you. dont fucking use me. another thing. that day. that night. totally hated that feeling when you're sitting by the light trying to study, but had totally no heart in it. was straining your ears to hear the lift doors open, yet all you hear is your mother deep in prayer. i wish i could help. serious. if i could accelerate the years, graduate, work. and help. i miss the old days. and now i should end this entry and study so that my cap would be reasonable and i wont transfer. by the way. should i just go? or should i not. so many fucking things on my bloody mind. yet i dont know what to do about it. if only if only. its a if. fuck.

so many thoughts recently. what will happen out of whatever is happening right now?